And God Created Woman
In the garden of Eden walked Adam,
alone and a trifle forlorn.
For he hadn't a miss or a madam,
and he whimpered every morn.
"What's the matter with you?" said Jehovah
"I've given you Eden you know,
and now that you've looked the place over,
I thought you'd be rarin' to go."
"That's all very well, " muttered Adam.
"but there isn't a soul except me,
and talking out loud is a tad 'um -
eccentric, don't you see?"
So the Lord God thought for a second.
Then he said, "Okay, just for you,
I'll make up a mate, for I reckon
that will give you something to do."
Now Adam was really excited,
and asked what this mate would do,
and as God explained, he was delighted,
at the promise of somebody new.
For his new mate was planned to get dinner,
and to cook and to sew up his clothes,|
She would make sure he didn't get thinner
and wash up as well I suppose.
She would bear him some fine sons and daughters,
and never wake him in the night
would take care of the beasts for the slaughter,
and never talk back in a fight.
She would love him with passion unceasing,
and never complain of an ache,
she would iron his shirts, never creasing
the cuffs, as she baked him a cake.
She would be such a model of virtue
that Adam could never complain,
and God said, "She never will hurt you,
or cause you one second of pain."
"Oh God," said our Adam, ecstatic
"what shall I call this wondrous mate,
and what will she cost, I'm emphatic
I must have the best going rate."
"This woman," said God, "that I bring you
is Eve, the mother of all,
The woman that your kids will cling to,
and the one that will come to your call.
"As for what she will cost, she's a jewel,
and a bargain at this special price,
for to you I couldn't be cruel,
and I know you will heed my advice.
"To you, as my special creation,
I offer you this generous rate -
just an arm and a leg your donation.
You couldn't do better, hey mate?"
Quite taken aback, Adam pondered,
then said with a bit of a grin.
"Well what would I get, I just wondered,
if a rib instead I threw in."
The rest of the tale is just history,
for they closed that deal right away,
so it's why we girls are a mystery
to every bloke even today.
Don't blame it on us, Mister Adam,
when you were the cheapskate in Eden.
For every missus and madam
is still trying today to get even.