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Douglas Adams quotes and quotations

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?
Douglas Adams

In order to fly, all one must do is simply miss the ground.
Douglas Adams

Arthur hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realised there was a contradiction there and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
Douglas Adams

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Douglas Adams

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Douglas Adams

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.
Douglas Adams

For a moment, nothing happened.Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.
Douglas Adams

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
Douglas Adams

If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.
Douglas Adams

I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.
Douglas Adams

He inched his way up the corridor as if he would rather be yarding his way down it.
Douglas Adams

He shifted his weight from foot to foot, but it was equally uncomfortable on each.
Douglas Adams

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Douglas Adams

He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
Douglas Adams

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
Douglas Adams

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Douglas Adams

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Douglas Adams

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
Douglas Adams

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
Douglas Adams

I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.
Douglas Adams

Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
Douglas Adams

His study was a total mess, like the results of an explosion in a public library.
Douglas Adams

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
Douglas Adams

If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.
Douglas Adams

It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Douglas Adams

Life is wasted on the living.
Douglas Adams

That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.
Douglas Adams

I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it.
Douglas Adams

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
Douglas Adams

Many men of course became extremely rich, but this was perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of because no one was really poor, at least no one worth speaking of.
Douglas Adams

The moment at which two people, approaching from opposite ends of a long passageway, recognize each other and immediately pretend they haven t. This is to avoid the ghastly embarrassment of having to continue recognizing each other the whole length of the corridor.
Douglas Adams

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.
Douglas Adams

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams

The difficulty with this conversation is that it's very different from most of the ones I've had of late. Which, as I explained, have mostly been with trees.
Douglas Adams

The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.
Douglas Adams

The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks.
Douglas Adams

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Douglas Adams

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.
Douglas Adams

The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.
Douglas Adams

Watch?? I'm gonna pray, Man! Know any good religions?
Douglas Adams

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
Douglas Adams

There is a theory which states that if ever for any reason anyone discovers what exactly the Universe is for and why it is here it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another that states that this has already happened.
Douglas Adams

This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.
Douglas Adams

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
Douglas Adams

To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.
Douglas Adams

We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!
Douglas Adams

We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.
Douglas Adams

It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too.
Douglas Adams

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
Douglas Adams