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Golf quotes and quotations

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.
Bertrand Russell

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
Will Rogers


It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Mark Twain

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law.
H. G. Wells

Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.
Woodrow Wilson

They say "practice" makes perfect " Of course, it doesn't. For the vast majority of golfers it merely consolidates imperfection.
Henry Longhurst

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
William Wordsworth

Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
Will Rogers

They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.
Gardner Dickinson


The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
Billy Graham

Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.
Ben Hogan

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
Bob Hope

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
Jack Lemmon

It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits, but I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
Hank Aaron

Golf isn't a game, it's a choice that one makes with one's life.
Charles Rosin

There's something intrinsically therapeutic about choosing to spend your time in a wide, open park- like setting that non-golfers can never truly understand.
Charles Rosin

I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.
Bruce Lansky

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
Jimmy Demaret

We learn so many things from golf- how to suffer, for instance.
Bruce Lansky

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
G. K. Chesterton

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
Phyllis Diller

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
P. G. Wodehouse

A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.
Henry Beard

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
Dave Barry

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.
H. L. Mencken