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Statistics quotes and quotations

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
Benjamin Disraeli

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into thereoms.
Paul Erdos

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
Laurence Peter

A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's subtraction.
Mae West

Before a cure is found we will all have been affected one way or another.
Author Unknown

I could prove God statistically.
George Gallup

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.
David Letterman

Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won't stand up either.
Evan Esar

A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
Joseph Stalin

If you want to inspire confidence, give plenty of statistics. It does not matter that they should be accurate, or even intelligible, as long as there is enough of them.
Lewis Carroll

Round numbers are always false.
Samuel Johnson

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.
Evan Esar

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Fletcher Knebel

One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
Rita Mae Brown

I could prove God statistically.
Aaron Levenstein

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Fletcher Knebel

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
Rita Mae Brown

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Fletcher Knebel

Statistics are like lampposts: they are good to lean on, but they don't shed much light.
Storm P

Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from non-practitioners.
G. O. Ashley

The order of the world is always right -- such is the judgment of God. For God has departed, but he has left his judgment behind, the way the Cheshire Cat left his grin.
Jean Baudrillard

There are two kinds of statistics, the kind you look up, and the kind you make up.
Rex Stout

Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
Robert Boynton

Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
George Gallup

Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from non-practitioners.
G. O. Ashley